One-Minute Hotel / Chateau Denmark, London
A strange new Gothic hotel for rock stars/rock fans right in the middle of Tin Pan Alley where they encourage noise but where the sleep is deep and restful.
So, where are we?
Slap bang in the centre of London, on Tin Pan Alley, or Denmark Street, the place everyone from The Beatles to… well everyone has come to buy their guitars. Soho is across the road, Oxford Street five minutes away and Covent Garden ten. Not even ten.
And where we’re staying...?
Chateau Denmark is part of a glossy, sprawling development in the shadow of Centre Point. Eventually, there will be a new 2,000-seat venue, the biggest to be built… since they knocked down the Astoria across the street to build Crossrail. At the moment, Chateau Denmark is spread over lovely Georgian terraces above guitar shops and sexy little bars and such.
What’s the style?
They’re going in hard on the rock ‘n’ roll legacy of the street with a huge snake tile to greet you as you step through that Georgian door. Up the squashy carpeted stairs, past the flat where the Sex Pistols used to live and through your door with a big neon ‘Sinning’ do not disturb sign above. The rooms don’t have numbers, they have song titles. Ours is Thank You Ma’am.
And the rooms?
Dark and spooky and Gothic, the suite starts out in the maxi-bar, a fully stocked bar right there in your room. Your designated BTLR will come up and shake you a cocktail or open you a bottle of wine or even host a small party, even if you’re in the big red, roll-top bathtub in the same room at the time. The floor is snakeskin, the ceiling dark distressed metal and there’s a huge TV above the ornate fireplace. Through to the bedroom and it’s, if anything, even darker. Dark aubergine comes off as black, tables seem constructed of horns, a big black fireplace is flanked by a wardrobe that looks like it was stolen from a church, complete with crucifix on top, and a picture of Saint Sebastian. Thick curtains, skull wallpaper and a black chandelier finish the look. Others are punkier with concrete and graffiti.
Is there a story?
Chateau Denmark is part of this huge new complex that includes The Outernet, a digital project with state-of-the-art screens, really big ones, that they’re calling ‘the first a worldwide network of immersive city-centre entertainment districts… a new portal into culture and commerce.’ Phew, right? Still a work in progress, there are already event spaces, clubbing, music… These rooms are no doubt conceived for the bands that play across the street.
And to eat?
As Tattu, the restaurant in the complex, is a whole different thing, we have yet to sample its reportedly delicious Chinese wares. But then you have a BTLR who’s prepared to run around getting food for you. Besides, Soho is literally across the road so there is certainly no shortage of eating options.
So, to sum up...
In a world of beige hotels, it’s actually quite exciting to stay somewhere they’ve let their imagination run wild. And there’s definitely something very sexy about the extremely hi-spec of the place with devil-embroidered dark dressing gowns, monogrammed slippers and music that you’re encouraged to turn up to 11. We guess the neighbours are used to it.
